eris

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When I awake the world pulses and throbs
angry and demanding. Once more I feel

frantic. Even the promise of blow jobs,
skag and mayhem does not please. What appeal

sublime excess brings feels dull when compared
to this ache. Once more I’m sick, dim and grim

when I want to be veiled, feral and scarred:
your own incubus itching for more. Dim?

Indeed. My neck contains not one love bite.
My mind is off elsewhere. My thoughts scattered.

Eros will not please tonight when Eris,
goddess of chaos, calls. Chaos in moonlight.

All else feels absurd. There’s no other word
for me but, “loss,” no other pain but, “this.”

plead

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Last night, two a.m. at the hospital,
with your loved one’s blood on your jeans. Ruin

and his screaming are still stuck in your skull
the next morning, all that noise while someone

tried to save his life. I brought him home. He
slept pressed close to my side. Can a tumor

grow and bloom so fast in days? They showed me
some X-rays. What difference does it matter

if it wasn’t there on Tuesday? It’s there
now. Death takes in threes: I lost Kriszti last

week and maybe J.R. today. Then who?
One more shock. Two weeks ago I would swear

life was good but pain is subtle and vast
and I can only plead: “not yet, not through.”

impulse

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There are other ways to satisfy you,
love. I was made for two things: poetry

and wet carnal heat. I’ve met others who
recoiled the one time I asked if they’d be

my well-fucked muse. I only ask it once,
love. If scratches and bite marks are not what

you want then go in peace since the essence
of a muse is impulse; do what’s asked or not.

I’m not asking for a martyr, just pain
induced orgasmic pleasure; a fuck-toy

willing for something new. Cum and sonnets
are what I offer. That and seven cane

strokes on your curved ass. Be bestial joy
in black boots, inspiration and corsets.

cabinet satyrique

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After a while guilt goes, depression leaves
and you become attractive once again.

You weren’t always this beaten soul who grieves
and blames just herself. You were a tribesman

of Pan, a priestess of Lilith. The world
saw joy in you, in what you haven’t felt,

you say, in years. This Hell, this Underworld
of yours, it can’t hold you once sorrows melt

and pains vanish. Outside, at dawn, a freak
with an antique box waits for you … count me

among your loves. Pleasure is our birthright.
It’s here, in this, “cabinet satyrique.”

It’s here, when both our tribes come together:
butch-armed tribad and fey-boy sodomite.

swollen

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I thirst where you seep. Where others haven’t
touched you. Where you don’t touch yourself either.

I love the wet grace found in cock and cunt,
in cum and kisses. All that flows, lover,

is ours. Bathe your body in river mud.
At night, on the bank, under a full moon,

between your raised hips, feed me your moon-blood.
What your body doesn’t want I’ll take. Cruel

to waste such a gift and deny my thirst.
Who else has stirred such swollen wet passions

in you? You seep like damp honey coating
my tongue. Soon, lick after lick, you will burst

into waves. Drown me. Cum like a fountain’s
geyser. Shake like a quake in the ocean.

tongue

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Lilith — First Mother, First Lover — you play
roles. Let my tongue find your soul and your toes

will curl deep in the woods. I still search, pray
and call on you. Sometimes I hear echoes

of your pleasure. Sometimes it’s just a cool
light in the green darkness. At the crossroads

your owl took my words. I still think it’s cruel
that you never came, though the complex codes

of your prayers confuse me at times. My grasp
of your Armenian tongue is, “shat vat,”

at best. Perhaps I’ve forgot my own role?
I’m built for faith and pleasure, not grief. Clasp

me to you, love. Spread yourself wide. Now squat
over my face. My tongue will find your soul.

NOTE:
In the Armenian language, the term, “very bad,” is “shat vat,” (շատ վատ).

best

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Today I took my cat back to the vet
so that they can try and save his kidneys.

Three days. They will labor against this threat
for three days. “We’ll try our best.” But kitties

die just like the rest of us and, “our best,”
often isn’t good enough. After three

days then what? For years he slept on my chest.
For years he was my love, my refuge, he

witnessed what no one else has, what no one
else will. Three days of waiting, of patience,

of fear, of, “I did my best.” Is it wrong
when we say that? Grief, not sin, damns us. None

who read this will come in time. Let absence
break me. Today here, love. Tomorrow gone.

Image

moxie

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First I drew her muscles. She had obliques
that would make titans sigh. Her broad shoulders

carried the weight. There are certain physiques
only found in men’s myth, though the daughters

of the gods come in all sizes. I drew
her as she held the world aloft. It’s odd

to call Atlas male. The one that I knew
had no machismo … just mortal, no god,

no false ennui. At her feet I drew her
sisters. That’s who she carried this for, with

a horned-moon on her forehead, storms above
her hips. — I’ve never had a big sister

like what I drew; one made not from men’s myth
but her own common muscles, common love.

without blood

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This blood letting. That itch. You don’t approve
when I slice a burr-hole in the soft parts

of my flesh to extract … what? hurt. The groove
I cut is deep but I don’t need Dark Arts

to count the days before it will itch once
more. Let the bad blood, the stone of madness,

out. You’ve called me savage in the essence
of my faith … but without blood it’s useless

to pray. That itch seizes me more and more
these days. I’d let it out if I could cut

where it crawls under my skin and I’ve tried.
Trust me. I’m squeamish of razors and gore

yet I’ve still tried to cut it out. Cut what
itches me. Cut what runs riot inside.

midway

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“Midway through this maddening life,” you know
how this goes, “I found myself unredeemed

in a dark wood.” The “right road” was wrong. No.
The road was gone, as in, damned. What I dreamed.

What I blasphemed. Lovers of words must name
horror. I have swallowed demons before,

felt their workings in me. “Clock: tock-tock.” Same
shame. Same grief. Damn me with a touch of gore

on the cogwheel. Things slow down. In your heart
there is a murmur. You know how this goes.

X-rays show blood clots. Demons I can’t squeeze
out of you. That is my horror, sweetheart,

I’ll lose you midway … despite all of those
prayers and tears and pathetic “don’t leave me”s.