after “it” happened

Tags

, , , , , , ,

It was hard in the beginning, of course.

Getting her up, the feedings, the wipings.
“Let me die,” she’d beg me, full of remorse.
I don’t blame her. I bought her silk stockings
for her four stumps. She hated them, at first.

Three years after “it” happened she started
to smile. She stopped saying that she was cursed
on her sixteenth birthday. I french braided
her hair and we went everywhere. We’re fine
down in the stream near the village. She rests
in my embrace. Peace is being buoyant.

She still won’t talk about “it;” the landmine.

At night my tongue finds her, teasing her breasts,
her lips, her clit, with love, raw and urgent.

* * *

Note: after three decades of war Cambodia has well over 40,000 landmine amputees, 75% of which are children. In 2012, the Cambodian Mine Action Centre (CMAC) estimated that there might be as many as four to six million mines and other pieces of unexploded ordnance still unaccounted for in rural Cambodia.

lay your head here

Tags

, , , , , , ,

It is snowing. The serpent that lives up
in the air must be cold. I feel sorry
for that serpent, for all snakes; snake worship
being out of style now. But the sleepy
serpent that lives in the air is my friend.
I’ll go and invite her in. In her maw
she holds all the hatred humans pretend
is high, mighty and righteous. The outlaw
knows a little of this. It is snowing.
Serpent, come down. Coil yourself in my bed.
Sleep the winter away. I am fluent
in old parsel tongue. Girls night in, laughing
the long winter nights away. Lay your head
here. Relax, Manasa, my dear serpent.

ghost dreams

Tags

, , ,

ghost dream 1

ghost dream 1

ghost dream 2

ghost dream 2

ghost dream 3

ghost dream 3

ghost dream 4

ghost dream 4

A ghost is born naked, squinting and glum.

There is no mother to catch it, nothing
to cling to with a tooth, a toe or thumb.
There are no older siblings for learning
the ways of the night. If you can hear bats
sing you can hear ghosts sigh. Few ask, what’s wrong?
ask how the day went? What paramour chats
with a ghost — tea and laughter — all nightlong?

I don’t resent this coming to an end.
Now when I sleep I hide in a wall crack
and my face is modest. I don’t resent

rebirth; finding out that ghost dreams depend
on how forgotten we’ll become; flashback
to when we thought we knew what alone meant.

ghost dream 6

ghost dream 5

on the other side of that glass

Tags

, , , , ,

 

Some say our lives are what gets reflected
in our mirrors. How unsatisfying.
What small dreams. I can’t taste another’s blood
in dreams. I wake up without the scarring
I earned on the other side of that glass.

There is something sick about that, children
playing as gods. I can decode teargas,
know the best use of fennel and cumin.
Have held a meteorite in one hand.

If you must look in a mirror for hell
you have never seen hell. Nightmares must live

to be understood properly. Dreamland
erupts at your feet. You ride the groundswell
out of the dark, into light, into love.

moonstruck

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

“You calmly hushed me,
taking away my barbarous ways.”

— Bunny Keiko (2005)

Bunny Keiko and her “mystical fuck”
reminds me of “The Woman Who Married
A Ghost Boy.”
A widow became moonstruck
with a fey boy’s ghost. All ghosts need to feed
but what good is mother’s milk to the dead?
He hoped to please her, as any lover
would try; but he died a virgin, unfed
and lost and wasn’t much good with pleasure,
giving or taking. They didn’t despair,
though, with his wet hand prints in her panties,
her big ass, her small toes; she loved going
down on him, hard. Which is why their affair
makes me smile and reminds me of Bunny’s
poem on love and mystical fucking.

among alien gods

Tags

, , , , , ,

Anaba and the Quetzal

Anaba and the Quetzal

“sinaháse nagée nagée alíli kat
bïtása/ a’yeyeyeyahai`”
Navajo
protection song.

At the other border crossing I shall
be stopped and so shall we all. “Now, slayer
of the alien gods am I.”
Quetzal
sits in my left hand. The jaguar’s furor
stretches far flung over us. “Now among
alien gods with weapons of magic
am I.”
Now all the jaguar’s furor, flung
far out, am I. Now the quetzal, homesick
and blue, am I. At the other border I
shall be stopped by alien gods, foolish
in all that they do and try to condemn.
We all cross, one way or anther, why
make this hard? I pray: go in peace: the wish
I give your gods before I destroy them.

myth and porn

Tags

, , , , ,

Just like a Disney princess, Pasiphae,
cuckold King Mino’s wife, kept a wild beast
as a lover. A white bull from the sea. One day
the queen had built a great wooden cow, greased
herself, lay waiting in its oak darkness,
primed. The world is full of lore of women
who train beasts “to perform the services
of men;”
real stud fees; again and again.
Ovid’s tale of the Minotaur was not
just a warning, he aimed to titillate
with the details; how a mother begot
her son with a bull’s cock, fiend at the gate.
Once done Ovid leaves her, pregnant, forlorn;
proving there’s scant difference in myth and porn.

rumi’s “the importance of gourd crafting”

Tags

, , , , , ,

The Sufi mystic, Jalal ad-Din Rumi, tells this story of the dangers of letting the animal in you run wild, literally. I have heard some commentators talk about how it is a metaphor for self-restraint, and perhaps it is, but it also seems to serve as porn, that is, “art for the purpose of sexual gratification,” as the dictionary so blandly puts it, as well.

Mythology seems full of such stories; Zeus only appears as an animal when he takes it into his head to impregnate a mortal. They say it is because his “godly figure” would be too awe inspiring otherwise, but if you are a god with unlimited powers that answer seems a tad convenient. This all leads to the question of how often were shepherds and shepherdesses caught enjoying the flesh of their flock before “that’s not a bull, that’s a god in bull-form” became the standard response?

There was a maidservant
who had cleverly trained a donkey
to perform the services of a man.

From a gourd,
she had carved a flanged device
to fit on the donkey’s penis,
to keep him from going too far into her.

She had fashioned it just to the point
of her pleasure, and she greatly enjoyed
the arrangement, as often as she could!

She thrived, but the donkey was getting
a little thin and tired looking.

The mistress began to investigate.
One day she peeked through a crack in the door
and saw the animal’s marvelous member
and the delight of the girl
stretched under the donkey.

She said nothing. Later, she knocked on the door
and called the maid out on an errand,
a long and complicated errand.
I won’t go into details.

The servant knew what was happening, though.
“Ah, my mistress,” she thought to herself,
“you should not send away the expert.

When you begin to work without full knowledge,
you risk your life. Your shame keeps you
from asking me about the gourd, but you must
have that to join with this donkey.
There’s a trick you don’t know!”

But the woman was too fascinated with her idea
to consider any danger. She led the donkey in
and closed the door, thinking, “With no one around
I can shout in my pleasure.”

She was dizzy
with anticipation, her vagina glowing
and singing like a nightingale.

She arranged the chair under the donkey,
as she had seen the girl do. She raised her legs
and pulled him into her.

Her fire kindled more,
and the donkey politely pushed as she urged him to,
pushed through and into her intestines,
and, without a word, she died.

The chair fell one way,
and she the other.

The room was smeared with blood.

Reader,
have you ever seen anyone martyred
for a donkey? Remember what the Qur’an
says about the torment of disgracing yourself.

Don’t sacrifice your life to your animal-soul!

If you die of what that leads you to do,
you are just like this woman on the floor.
She is an image of immoderation.

Remember her,
and keep your balance.

The maidservant returns and says, “Yes, you saw
my pleasure, but you didn’t see the gourd
that put a limit on it. You opened
your shop before a master
taught you the craft.”

(tr. Coleman Barks)

ghostly needs

Tags

, , , ,

If you can please a cat then you can please
a ghost, I believe. They’re so similar.
Cats. Ghosts. Sharks. Killers that love their bellies
scratched. I’ve touched shark snout, ghost skin and cat fur.
I could lie, tell you that I understood
what was under my hand. I could, perhaps.
Cats and ghosts both seek out love: that odd, good
human talent, but once they have it lapse
into indifference. Sharks are simply
curious and like to play. But knowing
that, I know nothing. I love mystery
but I can’t explain it. I can just sing.
Of cats’ ghostly needs, the kitten-like ghost
prowling, the shark’s soul that I love the most.

pat parker (1944-89)

Tags

, , , ,

author of woman slaughter

author of “woman slaughter”

Dear Pat: I miss you! There are time, alone
at night, when I hope that your ghostly scent
will fill the air. You’ll laugh, say how I’ve grown
and I’ll laugh too, and say how you haven’t.
I’ll ask you how Audre and Adrienne
are and you’ll say just fine. Then you will read
something new you have written and I’ll grin
and cheer at all the right parts. Death has freed
you from many things, but not from a warm
audience. Pat, I wait, this fey, whitest
of white boys, who loves you, loves to perform
your work; calls you superfine, the dearest.
You taught me the power of words, laughter,
respect and why I miss my big sister.