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“you wouldn’t survive the ride”

14 Tuesday Apr 2015

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Al: Do you wanna come out in the garage
and use one of the sanders?

Peg: Not on the car…

……………………

Peg: If you had what other men had, I
wouldn’t need batteries any more.

……………………

Marcie: I love to go to the dentist. A
man in white hovering over me while I’m trapped helpless in a chair.
He cleans me. He flosses me. His instruments alive in my mouth. And
just when I don’t think I can take it anymore, he says,‘Good girl,
Marcie, you can spit now.’

……………………

Peg:  I know you look at me and think
of eye candy, but it can never be for two reasons: 1) I belong to
another and 2) You wouldn’t survive the ride.

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The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth

13 Monday Apr 2015

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so-fucking-reckless:

  1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
  2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
  3. When in another’s lair, show them respect or else do not go there.
  4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy.
  5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
  6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved.
  7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
  8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
  9. Do not harm little children.
  10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
  11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they don’t stop, destroy them.