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memories of my ghost sista

~ the dead are never satisfied

memories of my ghost sista

Category Archives: sonnet

a devil’s reply

16 Monday Dec 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Poetry, sonnet

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a devil's reply, demons run when a good man cums, morphine, noise, pills, poem, Poetry, sonnet, the seventh son of a seventh son, vodka

your lips slightly bruised kiss the demons run
when a good man comes with primal urges

with a seventh son of a seventh son
with your mama’s blessings on your curl-fuzz

your first pubic hair your first change bad boys
who say stay away taste these crimson lips

you can’t help yourself and the noise the noise
of the rough bite on your bottom your hips

suck you are your fingers in I know I
know it’s serious more than metal fills

gag your throat hard next time both of my thumbs
to bruise your first curl a devil’s reply

to one who consumes vodka morphine pills
consumes everything when a good man comes

the lie that runs

10 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Feminism, Poetry, sonnet

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feminism, hellcat art, poem, Poetry, punk isn't dead just boring, queer cinema, smash the patriarchy, sonnet, the lie that runs, the problem with cinema, transgender films

A film, as in flick, as in cinema,
as in a tale, once told, that would change us,

change the world. But that’s not film’s role. Dogma
dictates that our art will make us famous,

that we’ll work in ivory towers, prattle,
publish and die beloved. I don’t want that.

Who makes films for the transgendered? muscle
women? tomboys? femme toys? Who makes hellcat

art? Who’ll smash the patriarchy with blood
money stolen from Hollywood? I touch

on this as if I had a clue; my lie
that runs on discontentment and hatred

of an art movement that promised so much
but gave so little while bleeding us dry.

][][

“buy my album and make me a millionaire. I want a house in the country.”
— Johnny Rotten from The Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle (1980)

“punk isn’t dead, just boring”
— London graffiti (2009)

queen brute

08 Sunday Dec 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Illustration and art, Poetry, sonnet

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art, eclipse, hallelujah, no one is saved, poem, Poetry, queen brute, sonnet, The Ancient One

Dec 08, 2013 (1)

That is not me talking. Those aren’t my lips,
fingers, tongue. I stepped aside. I let in

and then exhaled out. Possess you. Eclipse
you. This Ancient will prevail. Ancient skin.

Ancient name. Ancient dreams. Balsam, wet root,
limestone. Those weren’t my scents. That wasn’t my boast.

They all came when I stood down. This queen-brute
dressed up in a kimono. This girl ghost

who came back from the other side. Karma
means not a thing. No one is saved. Ancient

soul from before time who will make your death
rattle sound like a low hallelujah,

the gasp of surprise and awe a moment
before orgasm, faith’s very last breath.

Dec 08, 2013 (2)

holocaust angel

06 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Armenia, Poetry, sonnet

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Armenian Genocide, Armenian language, holocaust angel, please help, poem, Poetry, sonnet, tutor

Maybe my problem (I stop, think about
that and laugh. Then) is English. In Paris,

perhaps, I might find a teacher without
students, a great grandchild of the rootless

tribe that escaped Der-ez-Zor. Holocaust
angel, I’ve seen photos of you holy

in a torn sack dress. I’ve seen your bones, frost
white, dug up across Erzurum, Ani,

Van. Teach me French, teacher, then the ancient
tongue. The one that I wish to know. I wait,

I wait, I wait. In English there are none
who will speak. I don’t want to be silent

like a photograph. I wish to translate
this whole dark world into Armenian.

][][

note:

Let’s call this an obsession. The whole problem with wanting to learn a language that no one who lives near you speaks is that it is very hard to find a tutor. There use to be an Armenian community in Grand Rapids, Michigan, but not any more. I know this because in the city’s museum there is a display of a store run by an Armenian shop-keeper. But whoever they were and wherever they went to I do not know. One day I will meet an Armenian-speaker who will love poetry as much as I do and help me translate all the dark poems of my heart into the language I want to love but can’t speak. One day …

meditation at fifty yards

05 Thursday Dec 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Feminism, Illustration and art, Poetry, sonnet

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Tags

art, Burst Angel, Gays with Guns, gun control, gun violence, Meditation at Fifty Yards Moving Target, Pink Pistols, poem, Poetry, reblog, Rita Dove, sonnet, Zardoz

Dec 05, 2013 (2)

Dec 05, 2013 (3)

Dec 05, 2013 (4)

Dec 05, 2013 (5)

“anger is an energy” — Public Image Ltd.

This is urgent. This poetic justice
concealed in the long gun’s long chamber.

I’ll turn to you since the peaceful chorus
rarely makes good Peace Keepers. This anger

turns us passive witness. Always after
our wars do we even hear a poet

condemn our bloodshed; a general slur
against violence. But this poem? I cut

it on a bullet and put the bullet
in the chamber; it’s a rhyme against bad

behavior. Now, goddess of the sonnet
and the bullet, Athena of the mad

blood, speak through this round black-eyed deterrent.
Help me cock this back. This is urgent.

][][

I wrote that poem back in 2008, back when there were still national conversations going on about the merits of gun-control and closing down Guantanamo and bring our troops back home. I don’t know what happened to the Anti-War crowd, perhaps the debacle that turned into Occupy Wall Street depressed them so much they went home or perhaps their trust-funds ran out and they were required to get 9 to 5 jobs to support their patchouli habits and SUVs (just kidding guys, you know I love you). Whatever the case, the dialogues about the state of our nation seem to be missing (or perhaps I’m just not looking in the right places, that happens too) which is sad since none of the issues have changed. We are, for example, still a nation that loves using guns. According to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, “in 2010, there were 19,392 firearm-related suicide deaths, and 11,078 firearm-related homicide deaths in the United States.” According to a report by Heninger and Hanzlick, (2008) a “study of non-natural deaths in a large American city between 2007-08 revealed that half of such deaths in persons from 10 to 19 years of age were due to homicide, and firearms were involved in 88% of them.” I don’t know who Heninger and Hanzlick are, nor do they name the city, but regardless, the issue of gun violence is not going to go away in my lifetime, perhaps ever, at all.

I don’t own a gun, nor will I ever. I say that knowing it doesn’t take a lot of morals or energy or cojones to not own something. I also don’t own a factory that uses child labor to make Martha Stewart products either, but that doesn’t make me a virtuous person. In the same way, writing a poem about gun violence doesn’t actually stop people from killing each other. But it does have the potential to change minds, change attitudes, change whole ways of thinking. All art has that potential, poetry is no exception. And yet, having said that, there are so few well-written poems about the pros and the cons of guns. I am not sure why this is, since the current batch of poets living and writing today excel at writing about other things — broken hearts, failed relationships, their terrible life choices when dating — and yet somehow because the subject is about guns poets seem shy to touch the issue. How odd.

I saw the poet Rita Dove perform back in 2004, at the Dodge Poetry Festival. Her book, American Smooth, had just come out and she read Meditation at Fifty Yards. It blew my mind. When she got to the line, “one incandescent/ fingertip,” she traced a straight line in the air and it seemed to me like the pathway glowed. But it was the last section, where the bullet is given voice, that is the power of the poem. “O aperture O light straight is my verb I am flame velocity O beautiful body I am coming,” she read each line faster and faster and I found myself weeping in the audience, as I do when something I do not understand, something bigger than myself, touches me.

I know it is possible to have a conversation about gun control and gun violence. We tend to get caught up in soundbite quotes, which reduces complex issues into simple black and white ones. That does neither side any favors. Poetry can side-step that problem. It can bring a voice to a subject that is, for many people, taboo. Simply wishing for guns to go away solves nothing, likewise, ignoring the violence that guns bring to our communities is shameful. When the poets start tackling this issue that is when our national dialogue will start once more.

The art I used for this post came from simply googling the term “gays with guns.” Some of the images are a little more obscure. The first is from the anime Bakuretsu Tenshi (Burst Angel, in English), the second was an actual pink tank used during a Pro-Gay Marriage rally, the third from the website Pink Pistols (with a whole catalog of “femme pistols”), and last is Sean Connery in his, “red nappy, knee-high leather boots, pony tail and Zapata moustache” from the 1974 movie Zardoz. As with everything I do, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

][][

Meditation at Fifty Yards, Moving Target

— by Rita Dove

Safety First.

Never point your weapon, keep your finger
off the trigger. Assume a loaded barrel
even when it isn’t, especially when you know it isn’t.
Glocks are lightweight but sensitive;
the Keltec has a long pull and a kick.
Rifles have penetrating power, viz.:
if the projectile doesn’t lodge in its mark,
it will travel some distance
until it finds shelter; it will certainly
pierce your ordinary drywall partition.
You could wound the burglar and kill your child
sleeping in the next room, all with one shot.

Open Air.

Fear, of course. Then the sudden
pleasure of heft—as if the hand
has always yearned for this solemn
fit, this gravitas, and now had found
its true repose.

Don’t pull the trigger, squeeze it—
squeeze between heartbeats.
Look down the sights. Don’t
hold your breath. Don’t hold
anything, just stop breathing.
Level the scene with your eyes. Listen
Soft, now: squeeze.

Gender Politics.

Guys like noise: rapid fire,
think-and-slide of a blunt-nose sliver Mossberg,
or double-handed Colts, slugging it out from the hips.
Rambo or cowboy, they’ll whoop it up.

Women are fewer, more elegant.
They prefer precision:
tin cans swing-dancing in the trees,
the paper bull’s-eye’s tidy rupture at fifty yards.

(Question: If you were being pursued,
how would you prefer to go down—
ripped through a blanket of fire
or plucked by one incandescent
fingertip?)

The Bullet.

dark dark no wind no heaven
i am not anything not borne on air i bear
myself I can slice the air no wind
can hold me let me let me
go i can see yes
o aperture o light let me off
go off straight is my verb straight
my glory road yes now i can feel
it the light i am flame velocity o
beautiful body i am coming i am yours
before you know it
i am home

backbone

03 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Illustration and art, Poetry, sonnet

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Tags

art, backbone, bisexuality, colors are sexy, Echo and Narcissus, John Waterhouse, poem, Poetry, psychedelic, sonnet, your fantasies are obvious

Dec 03, 2013 (2)

There are some spaces that feel all precious;
the small fuzzy-haired curve of my skull-bone

where they used forceps to pull me free, plus
these words. I love these words. Get a backbone,

dear, where we’re going you’ll need it. Reading
about your fantasies, usually they

include titanic boobs bouncing, flopping,
swaying, cocks that never droop. No wordplay,

no wit, no camp. That’s not kink. An echo
can moan better. Gimme color. Vulva

purple. Cock brown. Start with this sea coral,
blue blush, start glistening deeper, pink glow,

peach wet, sopping scarlet, clenched fuchsia.
I hit a pleasure point, your thigh, my skull.

][][

note:

I cropped and then turned upside down this image from Waterhouse’s painting Echo and Narcissus, happy to see that Narcissus’ reflection isn’t actually looking at himself, he is staring at the audience.

bastard’s silence

03 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Illustration and art, Poetry, sonnet

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art, bastard's silence, butch queens, femme boys, I love blue, poem, Poetry, psychedelic, rent boy, selfie, The Other

Dec 03, 2013 (1)

How does that simple gesture of finger
across lips silence us? How do fingers

digging deep into fabric mean pleasure?
I’ve drunk from dripping rain; but what is hers

isn’t mine. What do butch queens signify?
If I’m narcissistic and perverted

it is only because such love is sly
and hard to find; like a booty goon, stud

muffin or power bottom. All the words
that we have for the Other, for one who

isn’t, could fit on the head of a cock,
a pin, a rent boy’s tongue. I’m the bastard’s

silence. The first question. How much can you
take in? Open your mouth, but please, don’t talk.

dark honeyed air

24 Sunday Nov 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Poetry, sonnet

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dark honeyed air, drown in it, guitar, ocean's outrage, poem, Poetry, sonnet

 

… then we were nearing the end of the song.
The sea calmed; each note turned hushed and sublime

and then faded away … I am not strong,
but my strings are tight; full of tears each time

you play me. You have no soul, nothing lies
inside. I’ve seen it drip from your mouth, run

down your chin, melt out of your hollow eyes.
Each time you squeeze me tight these songs summon

mermaids who live in my dark honeyed air.
Each time I sing tales of the sea-gypsies

I find new words for the ocean’s outrage.
My waves are chaos. Sometimes they enter

all your harmonies … they make me vicious,
one day I’ll drown in lascivious rage.

][][

notes:

“Well she’d held a bass guitar and/ she was playing in a band.
And she stood just like Bill Wyman,/ now I am her biggest fan …”

—The Smithereens, Behind the Wall of Sleep.

something organic

22 Friday Nov 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Poetry, sonnet

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Tags

love affair with the living, my heart huuuurts, poem, Poetry, something organic, sonnet, Sylvia Plath

I want to keep you. I want to swallow
you. I want to do your laundry. I want

to feed you all your meals. I want to know
the taste of your sleeping eyes. Do not haunt

me like this. What am I to you? A dumb
toy? You do not do. You once let me kiss

each crumb from your mouth. You fed me on crumbs.
I feel my heart—it beats—hurts. What is this

need for something organic? something warm
to sleep on—the breasts of a trespasser

returning from alien dreams—let dawn
creep in. Even I can be a newborn,

screaming about this ghostly encounter
of ours, screaming until my voice is gone.

][][

“you do not do/ any more … ”—Sylvia Plath

cold tongue on warm flesh

21 Thursday Nov 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Illustration and art, Poetry, sonnet

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art, Buzzcocks, cold tongue on warm flesh, death changes nothing, erotic pain, ghost lover, poem, Poetry, sonnet

Of course I believe in hell—What’s worse
than this? Wanting one you know you shouldn’t?

No, that’s what we all do. It’s that old curse;
finding out just what a vile and blatant

bastard you’re stuck with. That’s lamentable.
That’s a joke. That’s the one thing we all say,

“this must end.” I was inconsolable
when you left. I was wretched on the day

you came back home. It’s hard not to despise
someone who takes my love for granted. Death

changed nothing; you’re still a pig when you touch
me. Cold tongue on warm flesh, between your thighs,

your cock filling me. I can feel your breath
coming in quick gasps. I hate you so much.

][][

you disturb my natural emotions/ you make me feel I’m dirt/ and I’m hurt
and if I start a commotion/ I’ll only end up losing you/ and that’s worse

—buzzcocks, “ever fall in love with someone you shouldn’t’ve?

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