• hopilavayi: an erotic dictionary

memories of my ghost sista

~ the dead are never satisfied

memories of my ghost sista

Author Archives: babylon crashing

gaakaabishiinyag

27 Monday May 2019

Posted by babylon crashing in Poetry, sonnet

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eastern screech owl, fulton street cemetery, gaakaabishiinyag, no shaman, owls!, poem, sonnet

Storm owls, “Gaakaabishiinyag,” the mated pair
in the rain tree by the crossroads — in eight,

mud-caked tire tracks, crisscrossed to make a square,
I turn to the four compass points — and wait

for the storm shadows to stir. It’s been flood
season all year. Something’s in there: the stormhead,

in the stormcloud, the cloudburst of my blood.
Blood that I’m deaf to. Speaking blood. In dread,

in dreams storms brew and something is revealed,
though when I wake it’s all gone. But those owls,

“Gaakaabishiinyag,” they dwell where all else flees.
I’m no shaman — just dream deaf and unhealed.

Dream that wounds each time. Dream that disembowels.
Dream that leaves me in such confused frenzies.

NOTE:
I must be careful here. In Anishinaabemowin (the Ojibwe language), gaakaabishiinh is the name for the Eastern Screech owl, and the -yag of gaakaabishiinyag indicates the noun is plural, in this case two owls. I’m not Ojibwe, my ancestors came from the Ukraine, Italy and Ireland and it’s not lost on me that when Anglos want to try and grasp the spirit world (as what keeps happening in the New Age movement, for example) they fall back on ripping off Indigenous cultures and calling it their own. It’s for that reason (and many others) that I would also never call myself a shaman, since that describes a spiritual healer who works on behalf of her community and I have no community and cannot even heal myself. I’m using this Ojibwe term, however, because on the last full moon in April I built a little altar at the southeast corner of the cemetery crossroads that I live near and each night at dusk a pair of small owls come and visit. I am also slowly trying to learn to speak and listen in Anishinaabemowin and the more vocabulary that I use in my poetry the better understanding I’ll have with how the language works.

cypress

25 Saturday May 2019

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Poetry, sonnet

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debauch me quick, erotic poetry, red cypress, skull fucking, sonnet, spirit sweet, stone dead love

After you swallowed you told me to wipe
my cock in your spectral hair. A spirit

bound to the swamp, you’re both pungent and ripe,
horny and dead. It’s queer how your corset

and silk bloomers can still slide right off. Queer
how I can skull-fuck your throat, that somehow

all which splatters on your neck and brassiere
might have brought forth life once, but never now.

“I long for love’s wet heat,” your tombstone read.
“Debauch me quick, spirit sweet.” The whole, ‘weak

flesh, weak soul’, is bullshit, you said. Pious
get pissed that sex doesn’t stop once you’re dead.

Nothing stops. You grind your swamp on my face;
tree of your lust shaking, your cunt’s red cypress.

smitten

20 Monday May 2019

Posted by babylon crashing in Poetry, sonnet

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last dance, lust without satisfaction, poem, Poetry, smitten, something too awkward to ask for, sonnet, versed in moppet

At the last school dance I held you closer
than I should. I wasn’t versed in moppet

just then: with shoulders slouching, with moister
on our lips, with each faint but deliberate

brush we made against our hips. Puberty
remains a foreign language but that itch

that you felt is still in me — I’m itchy
like that all the time. Every throb and twitch

when the body wants something too awkward
to ask for. Lust without satisfaction

is still lust and lust is good … even when
songs end, lights come on and shy and flustered

you go to rejoin your friends. I’m smitten,
you think, and I’ll never feel this again.

caper

18 Saturday May 2019

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Poetry, sonnet

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boys who love Venus, caper, deeper than scars, girls who love Mars, poem, Poetry, sonnet, this keepsake

I fear this souvenir, this keepsake, this
dismay. I still crave. Growing up, both lewd

and shy, it twisted me; that heft and hiss
of wind at sea, that crudeness. Drunk and nude.

Lovesick and naked. Others made it feel
easy. What I got went deeper than scars,

deeper than flesh unwanted. — Sex appeal
overflowed, but not here. Girls who loved Mars.

Boys who loved Venus. What I took away
was a need for both … or neither. Dunno.

Their gift to me, to you, to us. To all
of us who fall in love alone. Dismay

is still a poor substitute. Where they flow
I still drip. Where they caper I must crawl.

heyday

17 Friday May 2019

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Poetry, sonnet

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cocked seething coals, cool throated, dimday, heyday, hollyhock blunts, it's all erotic poetry in the end, sonnet

No, I tell you. Our myth. Our love. Each night
after all, after heyday, after change

(sun spent into flowers) and dimday’s bright
chorus (swallows and bats), after our strange

chorale (split-ears, stump-fucks: let the chaste scoff),
we’ll go on all fours (think: rouge, ink, fishnets).

We’ll ball through mist. For some we’re a turn-off.
They turn us off, click-click, like TV sets —

Others want what we have. Hot hours drop. Cool
throated stir. Moonshine and hollyhock blunts.

Grass stains in the dark. Our spluttering mewl.
You can’t turn us off. We’re what the chaste hunt.

We’ve cocked seething coals, cunted our love myth,
cauterized with discord, with dark world, with—

sissyboy pale

16 Thursday May 2019

Posted by babylon crashing in Armenian, Erotic, Poetry, sonnet, Translation

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Armenian translation, bad girl, bisexual porn, erotic poetry, na vat aghjik e, sissy soul, sissyboy pale, sonnet, stone butch blues

After your parents kicked you out, you hid
all month long in my dorm room. “Feminine

wiles ain’t me th’n.” Yis. After your dad forbid
you from seeing her all that we called fun

came down to cashed bowls, beer cans and bi porn.
“Na vat aghjik e,” your dad said. “She’s bad.”

Some nights we got to smuggle your lovelorn
girlfriend in. — It’s hard to have a triad

with just two. In the shower: her toffee,
your bronze, my sissyboy pale. Nothing lasts,

though: just footnotes. Sister? Lover? Other?
What were we? Best friends. That’s enough for me.

Twenty-eight days. Lilith, guide to outcasts,
at long last, did your daughters find shelter?

][][

NOTE:
There is a special ring in hell for abusive parents who cast out their queer children. Know the words that will get used against you so that they have no power. In Armenian, “she’s a bad girl,” gets translated into, “na vat aghjik e” (նա վատ աղջիկ է), as in: “bad girls are more fun/ vat aghjiknery aveli zvarchali yen” (վատ աղջիկները ավելի զվարճալի են). My broken broken vocabulary.

flair

15 Wednesday May 2019

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Poetry, sonnet

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beastly yowl, erotic poetry, flair, fuck-demon wax, nightmares in love, outcast of Eros, sonnet, Succuba's burlesque

Your scent is the root of my bray-like moan.
Pray with grave ignorance, with infernal

flair, with this: my wayward bulge hard as stone.
I am Succuba’s burlesque, her all-dull

luminous pain that makes you bend. Two-backed
and four-footed. Nightmares in love. Nightmares

in soul. Outcast of Eros. I’ve hijacked
more than enough ancient crooked affairs

to stay veiled. I keep my secrets and bray,
eee-aaah. My role is not to kiss you, just

remind you how you like kisses. Climax
is chock full of beastly yowl. When you pray

I can smell it on you: fragrant as lust,
raw as blessing, thick as fuck-demon wax.

drubbing

14 Tuesday May 2019

Posted by babylon crashing in Armenian, Erotic, Poetry, sonnet, Translation

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Armenian translation, dirty mind, erotic poetry, keghtot mitk’y, Love shall make us a threesome, sonnet, tribadic drubbing, violent priapism

No. You loathed his want instead. His drab wants:
dull and ulcerous. Cankered cock outside.

Cankerous soul in. — In the restaurant’s
restroom, in stall five, she ground down astride

your face ‘tween tribadic drubbing, violent
priapism, the long slow insertion —

“I’ll frig ‘er,” she said, slapping your splayed cunt.
“Put yer randiness ‘ere. Soon yer semen

an’ mah spit shaa slosh frae deep in ‘er arse.”
Blessed be all dirty minds, “keghtot mitk’y.”

Blessed be all grandmothers, daughters and wives
who find love once marriage becomes a farce,

once their menfolk bloat with hate and vodka.
Blessed be all love that still somehow survives.

NOTE:
A dirty mind, as Prince would say, is, “keghtot mitk’y” (կեղտոտ միտքը), in Armenian; as in, “dirty minded friends are so attractive,” “keghtot sirvats ynkernery aynk’an gravich’ yen” (կեղտոտ սիրված ընկերները այնքան գրավիչ են) … because we are and so are you.

rucked-up

12 Sunday May 2019

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Poetry, sonnet

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erotic poetry, girth wind and fire, it gets better, little orphan tranny, no toxic macho, poem, rucked-up, sappho at the disco, sleeping booty, sonnet

First clue of others like you. Not romance
but bliss when the cauldron in your cunt stirred.

You knew why. In the peep-show reel from France
the nun reclined in rucked-up drawers. You heard

slip-slop noise each time the devil’s affair
plunged up to its hilt. Froth and cream spending

festooned in smears about her curled-back hair,
sopping his balls, a rivulet oozing

between split thighs. “Sappho at the Disco.”
“Girth, Wind and Fire.” “Sleeping Booty.” “Little

Orphan Tranny.” Those films were fun, but this,
child born from porn with no spite, no macho,

changed you. That clue that you could be carnal,
too. Your brain’s refrain. This first hint of bliss.

bad bliss

10 Friday May 2019

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Poetry, Potawatomi, sonnet, Translation

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bad bliss, bodéwadmimwen, bowels of the earth, dreams of the dead, erotic poetry, ggiskonyé ne?, moonstruck, sonnet

Don’t be jealous of the dead. Their yearning
is like yours. “Ggiskonyé ne?” That pain

filling all her voice asks. “Are you getting
undressed?”
I take her absinthe and regain

all those old tensions, those itches. To kiss
a ghost is to feel her raw tingle glow

in your flesh, echo in the sky, bad bliss
from the bowels of the earth. She has no

bowels but — she’s horny as a hellcat
with two cunts. I have been moonstruck before.

When at last I undressed before you that
was mad but you had said more, always more.

The dead are like us: loving cock and cunt
and all that’s odd, loving what is different.

][][

NOTE:
In the Bodéwadmi (Potawatomi) language, “ggiskonyé ne?” translates as, “are you getting undressed?”

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