There is no love in this life for older
women. The most you can be is Gertrude,
Hamlet’s mother. But what sort of pleasure
can you find with a melancholy prude
for a son who wants you all to himself?
While Hamlet and Claudius fought Gertrude’s
vibrator buzzed, making her the first MILF,
the first Cougar, first to catch a young dude’s
eye. And why not? Life is short and we all
drink the poison in Act 5. A good fuck
is the least we can do. The last cure-all
until the undiscovered country. Suck
you wet, Gertrude, you who’ve been another
mother to me; my friend, muse and lover.