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a pet rock is the best of all pets: it knew that it was going to be with you ten-million years ago, even though that you are a mere flicker in its existence //// a pet rock is like having a god that loves you; it is something that doesn’t give a fuck about your concept of the divine, or humanity or your ego and still it wants you pick it up, it wants you to put it in your pocket, sun-baked.

the theological implications on pet rocks (2017)

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The Roman poet Catullus uses the word, ‘irrumabo’, to mean face-fucking, though the actual term derives from ‘ruma’, the Latin word for ‘udder’ … so we can translate, ‘Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo’, into, ‘I’ll sodomize you and make you suck my cock’, or, ‘I’ll sodomize you and make you suck my udder’ … either way is brilliant.