laluah

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

Aquah Laluah wrote about her lover’s

rain soaked breasts, about storms within and storms

without, kissing her dusky throat. Thunder’s

note, she called it, which did more than just warm

her flesh. Auntie I never knew, you wrote

about longing and I keep going back

to the source. I, too, crave. Like Qiu Jin’s quote

about music, yours has been the soundtrack

I’ve been dancing to for years. A teacher

at Freetown’s all-girl school [1920]

Auntie, you drank from Frangepani’s proffered

bowl and called it peace: the first faint glimmer

of light. Tɛnki. I love your long, rainy

season, that storm wet craft that you conjured.

][][

Notes.

Gladys May Casely Hayford (1904-1950), who went by the pen name Aquah Laluah, was a schoolteacher at The Girls Vocational School in Sierra Leone. She is credited as the first poet to write in the Krio language, a regional Creole. Tɛnki is the Krio word for thank you. Like Aquah Laluah, Qiu Jin was also a feminist, lesbian poet who taught at an all-girl’s school in Qing-era China, though Qiu Jin was executed after a failed revolutionary uprising. Four of Aquah Laluah’s poems were collected by Countee Cullen in Caroling Dusk: An Anthology of Verse by Black Poets of the 1920s. The quotes of her that I use come from her poem, Rainy Season Love Song, which I share here in its whole:

Out of the tense awed darkness, my Frangepani comes;

Whilst the blades of Heaven flash round her, and the roll of thunder drums

My young heart leaps and dances, with exquisite joy and pain,

As storms within and storms without I meet my love in the rain.

“The rain is in love with you darling; it’s kissing you everywhere,

Rain pattering over your small brown feet, rain in your curly hair;

Rain in the vale that your twin breasts make, as in delicate mounds they rise,

I hope there is rain in your heart, Frangepani, as rain half fills your eyes.”

Into my hands she cometh, and the lightning of my desire

Flashes and leaps about her, more subtle than Heaven’s fire;

“The lightning’s in love with you darling; it is loving you so much,

That its warm electricity in you pulses wherever I may touch.

When I kiss your lips and your eyes, and your hands like twin flowers apart,

I know there is lightning, Frangepani, deep in the depths of your heart.”

The thunder rumbles about us, and I feel its triumphant note

As your warm arms steal around me; and I kiss your dusky throat;

“The thunder’s in love with you darling. It hides its power in your breast.

And I feel it stealing o’er me as I lie in your arms at rest.

I sometimes wonder, beloved, when I drink from life’s proffered bowl,

Whether there’s thunder hidden in the innermost parts of your soul.”

Out of my arms she stealeth; and I am left alone with the night,

Void of all sounds save peace, the first faint glimmer of light.

Into the quiet, hushed stillness my Frangepani goes.

Is there peace within like the peace without? Only the darkness knows.

pride

Tags

, , , , , ,

Write about what you know, they say. There’s poverty and poetry and dreaming vast. There’s this crazy world of plenty where resources are constantly getting squandered and misspent. That’s where this poem started …

Dear Spain. You’re trying to sell an old Mistral submarine for scrap. I’m trying to create the first underwater library. I dream of sailing from island to island in the Caribbean, bringing books to those who don’t have them. I don’t have €136,000, and you don’t have a buyer. Perhaps we can make a deal?

Mother I never knew/ Each time I see

the Sea/ Each time,” wrote Issa. I get it.

Tide be runnin’ the great world over. Sea

and me we go back far. Call me poet

of sharks and tides and reading. Let me feed

you books. Let us all dream of libraries.

This could work. This could happen. But I need

help. From Saint Lucia to Buenos Aires,

all those lives hungry for literacy. Books

and a floating library on the quay.

Books to feed us all; this hurricane-size

dreaming. This is what our mother’s pride looks

like. With you. With us. Come, we’ll chart the way

together. Come, we’re all going to rise.

shank

Tags

, , , , , , ,

Shankbite, ribcrack, splitback lip; waiting

in ER to get stitched up. Ten years old

and thick with scars. Puberty arriving

early. Special Ed being doom, foretold

by the bullies who knew a fag retard

sissy when they saw one. Adults who preyed

on such flesh said I made them wet and hard

and wild. What soul brings a knife to 5th grade

and then uses it? Children have no use

for a God that allows monsters to breed

monsters. It’s like having no God at all.

Childhood of ghosts, of excuse, of abuse,

needle and thread. Let it bleed. Let it bleed.

Let it bleed with ghosts that bully, that maul.

morsels

Tags

, , , , , , ,

Tsavd Tanem. Let me take your pain. As in

I’ll eat it. I’ll vomit it. I’ll transform

it. All that horror spewed. Call me Shaman

of Thieves and Sonnets. Call me a Firestorm

that Heals. If not now then when? If not me

then who? This is what a Hungry Ghost dreams

of. You say that you wail like a banshee

during sex. I say nightmares and daydreams

taste the same. Tsavd Tanem. Hymn that stifles.

Song that bleats. This is what a Hungry Ghost

dreams of; such tasty morsels. Tsavd Tanem.

Tsavd Tanem. Tsavd Tanem. All these, “trifles.”

Love, let me take this from you. You almost

gave up. Call me Cursed; my one pseudonym.

][][

Notes.

In Armenian, Tsavd Tanem (Ցավդ տանեմ) is a colloquially phrase used to express sympathy or affection. I, on the other hand, am taking it literally. In Buddhism, Hungry Ghosts (餓鬼) are spirits who are driven by unquenchable emotional needs, often depicted as tormented by grotesque desires that they are unable to ever fulfill. If that doesn’t sum up my entire life in a nutshell I don’t know what would.

shunter

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

Amor fati, it starts like this: She bop

a loo bop a whop bam boom. Not Tutti

Frutti, but buggery none the less. Flop

sweat. The first inkling of pain. Booty

deep and spread wide. No, you say. O hell no.

But to love what Fate brings requires you to

explore. From the bar through the slush and snow

to bed. Batty fang. Caterwauling. Screw

shunter. Slang … as I pause before the O

of your ass. Hell no. Then, by turns, Rome burns

between your cheeks. Tonight we will transgress.

Call me daddy, stranger, your queerest beau;

bent, we say. Soon wild rapture will return.

Soon you’ll claw my flesh, shuddering: fuck, yes.

without

Tags

, , , , , ,

Venus fly trap. Pheromones and cock. Seed’s

heavy fluid. Stamen’s curve. Stamen’s lure.

Flower hell; as in, fuck, you sigh, your greed’s

drippage. As in, there! a touch of the pure

slipping three fingers in. Buck on the cot,

in the tent, with your parents by the camp

fire’s fire. The tendrils. The roots. The cumshot.

None of that is here. Soon your fingers cramp.

Soon you hear: good night, while the tent’s zipper

unzips. Cocksleeve dreams fade. Nature’s excess

goes on without you. Zero at the bone,

indeed. No tight breathing. No clit trigger.

Just dark. Just something out there in distress.

Something bestial. Something that can moan.

rude

Tags

, , , , , ,

Rude much? We live, rue and die all unasked

for, save Kate Warne, chief of the Pinkerton

Female Detective Bureau, who unmasked

the plot to kidnap Abraham Lincoln.

Unasked, unmasked, pain in the ass. Epochs

divide us. Like Lilith in the moonlight,

in Kate’s far scars: bullet wounds and smallpox.

Lilith everywhere. Born a cenobite,

Kate sez’, “I such sights to show you!” Then

she’s gone, man, real gone. Rude: as in, keeping

secrets from you. You are untrustworthy.

Kate hates you. I’m just indifferent. Your sin

does not thrill. It’s common. Common sinning

when it should have been vast and praiseworthy.

frost

Tags

, , , , ,

Gods in clods of earth. Parasites cloud. Wormed

riot. It’s ill how cures fail. Ill or cursed.

You don’t know? Neither denied nor confirmed.

Neither argued nor held my first. What thirst?

Cursed thirst. Ill met a grief ago. My rose

hue. My plague. “Be content,” Echo re: framed,

give or take a fjord, what your verse-prose shows,”

Godly natted while her godly bowels strained ––

[¡G-Ross T.M.I.!] –– “is that your humor

needs work; don’t give up that day job just yet.”

–– That’s fair, I thought. My alcoholism

being what it is. “First cursed, y’all. Frost lunar

content.” No, not content … not yet. Not yet.

Not glow-worm come cloud. Not beau-bawd rhythm.

zoot

Tags

, , , , ,

Body sleeps. Psyche creeps. It all happens

when I’m not home. “You’re Zoot. Sax is your ax.”

Uh, Zoot’s skipped a groove again.” My atoms

spread. DNA unwinds. Protons climax.

Slinky cells divide. This is pillow talk.

If I only had pillows. I have cats.

They’re like what a meatloaf and a warlock

baby looks like. Mistress Purrfect Paws. That’s

totally something that could happen, eh?

That “eh” indicates that I’m from Quebec,

which I’m not. At least when I’m awake.

I can’t recall dreams. Just the rum wordplay

they leave behind. Just, yo broke joke, Molech.

Just Zoot on his sax. Just cells and cell’s ache.

blight

Tags

, , , , ,

“I was much further out than you thought/ and not waving but drowning” ~ Stevie Smith.

Start like this. Add [D-ball Blight/~ Mama told

me/~ come, son, ain’t the way to have fun/~ bawd

bones/~ son. Gangsta boogie?] To [Blue beard mold.

Blauh! jock cock Blauh! war raw Blauh! spinster’s rod

Blauh!/~ L’gangsta pussie?] Mix. [Ire in wack.

Pulsar north/ scar helm way/ home Holmes hell way

sugar bay] With [on your rock cock/~ slick sacque]

That’s how I wanted this to start. “To spray

[something?][a thing?] across your [thingy-thing?].”

Pathos?/~Bathos?/~ [whatever] such simplex

set of instructions. [ … … … … …] I’ll never get to

say what. Never say how now brown/~ [Stopping

you there, Herr Doktor Blight.] Mama’s next sex

swears [like this, Holmes] by the goat’s early rue.

][][

Notes.

One thing I’ve noticed about having tendinitis is that my mind spends a lot more time these days focused in on and trying to make sense of the endless static loop in my head. A translation process I won’t pretend to understand; what I get in return are endless fragments that not connected to anything, as if I was randomly switching through radio stations, white noise and all, which both gives and takes away. I tried highlighting all the different voices at work in this poem and the end result looks like: