silent octane

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Little fish, we grew up, I no longer
fit in your mouth on the first drop lo-speed

quivered pillowed my head to the center
a dot obscene puffing sea smoke like weed

burning a girl surfer’s kingdom skyclad
in the call coiled blood delight chilled down rain

pray a storm little fish little comrade
I miss your lips swollen silent octane

burning so much burns roots, harbors, black kelp
plucked, knits from your pubes. It’s darn criminal

the way you’ve let yourself go I’m slogging
into iron booties, chains, weights to drop

through the depths to you. Hold me kiss my skull
swallow me you used to without gagging.

chill embrace

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Let the ground split open. Let earth deface
the one injured, the one in pain. May stones

take me far down into their chill embrace.
Without you I pray to be just rock-bones

frothing green-jasper that injured no one
flint-flakes for the want of a tongue, my stump

broken-topaz, a prairie in the sun,
citrine-red winter’s run rapture. I slump

against a blue wall. Everyday I vow
to give up writing words. Winter draws near.

All of nature soon sleeps. But I’m awake.
I seethe. I’m what gets left behind, somehow.

Let me crumble into chalk. All I fear
leaves me sleepless, a thing of want and ache.

][

Queime a terra, e transformar a minha carne em pedra.
Gire-me em algo bonito, mas sem graça.
Você fez a minha feiúra sentir divino.

][

Burn the land, and transform my flesh into stone.
Turn me into something beautiful but dim.
You made my ugliness feel divine.

dead pony

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Mourning in pink thumping blasted bathroom
mother of us all the steady burning

of neck, of breasts, of furnace soured. My womb
is pure digital. Bolts. Sour-grass. Lolling.

Turn. I’ve sucked Phillip’s head that salt keeps fresh.
Metal in my mouth. Gag. I can’t keep

down. These ruins. Watch me spit up horse flesh.
Centaur’s dead pony. Let the dead gods creep

on stubs. I’m the field, the joy where calf-boys
gallop. I am one fucked up landmass.

Stillbirth that wakes in a hand-me-down dress.
Stillbirth that still sings. I’m chaos and noise.

And still I sing. I want to wreck your ass
like a mad god or a cruel headmistress.

wolf down

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Poking of needles the weeping no veins
but we will take it, no matter how big,

receive a god, lucky animal, brain’s
crank-shaft, tongue’s slit, with four fingers we dig

into the threshing. These memories burn.
Evidence that this body is still yours.

Evidence it’s the reckless that we learn
and the long strides, wet boots, the horrid sores

discovered when stop turns to rest. I walked
away. I walked. Junk like wheat; like garish

dust; snort up, wolf down. All this fat purring
as the needle goes in. My body mocked

the gods who loved such need. Shafts fall. A wish
to want something that bad comes galloping.

DARK PYGMALION [remix]

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bruised, bloodied and mad
the butterfly — so tattered
sister, I love you

………………………………………………………………..

                                 ][
Mottled tattoo——a taboo——beckoning
her to return to——sip the fine vintage
of his fourteen-year odd——essence needing
                                 ][
but a single nip from her——teeth carnage
blood-blood reopened——her tongue bathing in
his dusk boy——blood that sticky grin. The curve
                                 ][
of his cock above the sheet’s skin, boy sin
calling to her fingers. Who has the nerve
to go there when lust is neither legal
                                 ][
nor pure? Caught in——that dim shadow she did
nothing but obey as her cooled flesh warmed
and she called him her——cute anal angel
                                 ][
he was all——that’s taboo——what we forbid.
All that will leave us a monster transformed.
                                 ][

………………………………………………………………..

                                 ][
Soon when you’re good I’ll show you my Y, gray
shaped scar that cut my chest and clavicles,
sternum and heart, all in half. That which lay
                                 ][
in me was once on display. My devils
made no attempt to be subtle. The art
of the cross-stitch hurt but kept my ugly
                                 ][
bosom together. My guts, pulled apart,
slept on the dissection table. To be
as anatomically correct as this
                                 ][
was a horror-show. Man’s ideal monster
can’t be built, but we try. My Pygmalion
lover saw to that. Listen to the hiss-
                                 ][
whir of dark science that made me neither
god nor demon. I’m not even human.
                                 ][
………………………………………………………………..

spring delirium
suddenly the world and I
are one, drunk as fuck

………………………………………………………………..
                                 ][
If you were to rebuild me, fashion me
in your likeness, your image, spread me out
on the dissection table. With hasty
                                 ][
stitches suture in zippers, so without
pain you can have quick access to my heart.
I am a gray blossom, passion denied,
                                 ][
wearing other people’s pieces. Apart
from the shredded feral divine, I pride
myself that I have survived you. Perhaps
                                 ][
you’ll never feel guilt, just white static noise.
I might be a monstrosity, but you,
little god, you’re what happens when love snaps
                                 ][
and you get bored with me. You break your toys
so that you can fix them with nails and glue.
                                 ][
………………………………………………………………..

dreaming
in saline
solution
embal
ming
fluid,
paste,
stitches …

sewing butterfly
wings back on, monster, love,
kiss your bit of fist

ill pleasure

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all the ancient classic fairy tales

have always been scary and dark.

—— Helena Bonham Carter

………………………………………………………………..

Truth like faith crawls in on disillusioned

claw-stubs. Talk of either makes me woozy;

the way marsh gas, fluid swamp rot, poisoned

][

bog air, causes me to wretch. Frequently

though there is a perverse pleasure, finding

myself neck deep in the muck, cautiously

][

navigating each step, while the singing

of unseen sirens tries to dissuade me

from turning back. I like that ill pleasure,

][

and it is a very ill thing to do:

debate the things we can’t prove or disprove.

Floating nearby, smelling citrus and camphor

][

in the air. Listening to those all those who

talk while the trees gently laugh, gently move.

][

………………………………………………………………..

][

The time has come to tell tales of the dead.

Strictly speaking, terror is rational

fear, fear of what is known; horror, instead,

][

is fear of all that is irrational.

The night versus the day. Dionysus

versus Apollo. But the erotic

][

world has no such separations; lewdness

is just what we make it. I know the sick

art to make you flood; the soft seduction.

][

A slick, sultry mouthful; these are queer tastes.

Do you care? Day or night? Crude or sublime?

Rational? Irrational? Moon or sun?

][

Living or dead? When your dam bursts

I will drown, going down for the third time.

][

………………………………………………………………..

][

From here all the tree trunks are blackly white

against cool-copper background. These lines thrust

clear and erect into coming twilight.

][

How did Freud ever pass through such forests?

They’re all so palpable … phallic. For me,

walking among the oaks intoxicates.

][

Not all lovers are forest gods, beasties,

freaks; but they should be. Sap runs, animates

flesh, dew and clay. “I stripped off my sarong,

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ran all mad-blood through the dappled down grass.

Rude horn of Pan. Gripping you with both hands

until you splattered, rose-lily, along

][

my chin, my palms, my hair, across my ass,”

whispered the demon of the cropped marshlands.

][

………………………………………………………………..

][

How much cold can you abide? If you kissed

me now you’d hear how the wind mews and talks

to you. Across the tundra of this tryst

][

you called me, like the warmth of a snow fox

in the endless night. I come from the west,

dreaming about blackberry juice; roughly

][

watching it trickle down your chin. Tongues pressed

tip to tip, although warm flesh on icy

metal never forgives. Little candle,

][

moppet, June spark, I would lick the hoarfrost

from your breasts, if I could; I think you’d just

sputter, though, warmth being such a fragile

][

play thing. How far will you go, my star-crossed

flame? The winter dark is my name for lust.

][

………………………………………………………………..

a piece of moonlight

tongued like in a fairy tale

Cinderella nasty

oddly mine

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                                 ][
When at my lip’s breath and keys you photo
deaths and entryways. My zodiac’s blood.
Bleed my dim oxen. I find nakedness,
                                 ][
oddly mine, divine. After a hundred
undone eyes I was curious what you
could see. But my body isn’t a prayer
                                 ][
song for the dead. Make much of me, undo
combustion, the hooks of my tongue, stop-blur
jerks of my limb. Swallowed hard burn captured
                                 ][
in your flash. In-between silence and noise
sleeps what can’t be explained; even 8-bits
had no word for it, save what you conjured
                                 ][
in me. I am your Lady of Rent Boys,
Cocks and Ass; Holy Bull of Clits and Tits.
                                 ][

geiger’s counter

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J. Robert Oppenheimer quoted a fragment of the Bhagavad Gita declaring, ‘I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.’ His colleague put it in another way when he leaned close and whispered, ‘Now we are all sons of bitches’. – TSCC

What Would Freud Say? – Bob Hicok

                                 ][
A bomb test site: flowing down. Silt river
dragging my bent body. Be beads, feathers,
voodoo figurines. Come, come, come. Sandbar
                                 ][
radiation. Come melt. Tempestuous
love, come melt with me; monstrous pleasures
in what science can do. Art is this. Art is
                                 ][
that. So what loneliness. I sleep topless.
Nothing stirs my sleep. What is art. What is
thus. I show you my scars, primal bronze bells
                                 ][
that dance – blue note – beatific boggy-boo.
Geiger’s counter still counts and Nevada
is home in the way Lucifer made Hell’s
                                 ][
Dome home. Give me poetry that’s taboo;
verses full of pussy farts and smegma.
                                 ][

carve out forget

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                                 ][
Jah, what would you say to a shy girl’s prayers,
eeked out each hymn, each blood-clot hemorrhaging
niece. In silk-stained clouds; a world of nightmares,
                                 ][
milkweed pods and sexed regimens. Fucking
results in nothing. There is no magic
when the witch is bored. One. Your clothing grows
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small. Two. Tilt your head back. Now three. You’ll lick
what I put in there. These bottled freak shows
beggar the dead, it is our job to kiss
                                 ][
them back to life. Cave in. Carve out. Forget
that you have a husband, children, lifeless
marriage. Shy girl. Let’s be what the dead miss;
                                 ][
a spot of blood, wipeout. Us getting wet
comes like this: orgasms without malice.
                                 ][

the seal woman sings the blues to peter cagan and the wind

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                                 ][
Afloat and nowhere. Never reign; open
all your plucky urchins. Here’s my scarred split
tongue. The echo men beating Blind Lemon
                                 ][
Pie. Her elbow’s bone. Her wit of a clit.
As in, suck in. As in, gag. Someone sings
of all the dreams that she brings from the wide
                                 ][
open sea; of all the dreams that she brings.
Come. Get me. I’m singing down at low tide.
Get me milky-sweet and barely swimming.
                                 ][
As in, mud. I’ll suck you down. Rattled face.
Broken bone. Rasping selkie tea. Frayed stitch
that won’t see salvation. Heh-heh, saving.
                                 ][
Lover Pie. Lover seal skin. You’re pale face.
I’m both: Sea-Bitch and the Son-of-a-Bitch.
                                 ][