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memories of my ghost sista

~ the dead are never satisfied

memories of my ghost sista

Category Archives: Poetry

bastard’s silence

03 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Illustration and art, Poetry, sonnet

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art, bastard's silence, butch queens, femme boys, I love blue, poem, Poetry, psychedelic, rent boy, selfie, The Other

Dec 03, 2013 (1)

How does that simple gesture of finger
across lips silence us? How do fingers

digging deep into fabric mean pleasure?
I’ve drunk from dripping rain; but what is hers

isn’t mine. What do butch queens signify?
If I’m narcissistic and perverted

it is only because such love is sly
and hard to find; like a booty goon, stud

muffin or power bottom. All the words
that we have for the Other, for one who

isn’t, could fit on the head of a cock,
a pin, a rent boy’s tongue. I’m the bastard’s

silence. The first question. How much can you
take in? Open your mouth, but please, don’t talk.

shaman of the bones

01 Sunday Dec 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Poetry

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a spell, El Nina, erotic pain, listen, poem, Poetry, shaman of the bones

 

everything you do first
comes like breath like a warm

hot wind everything drums
like our pulses quickening

quickly the heady natural mystic
shaman of the bone fills

the air for it is very natural
isn’t it to be naked to want

me to see everything now
drink from me and be

nourished hoodoo and the hex
and I wish that my dark

honey alone could sustain
you but I fell in love

with you now you’re enemy
the words I spoke

to you keep them inside
this is a spell listen

dead man switch

01 Sunday Dec 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Poetry

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bleed me, dead man pleasure, homoerotic, poem, Poetry, switch cutting

 

thoughts are of muscle and
bone thrash under ankles

and wrists ache as the ropes
cut into muffled moans permeate

the dark truck stop bathroom
straddling at the neck slowly

rip the tape off force
it into the back

of the throat re-enter
with a renewed determination

hard pleasure dead man
switch cutting through

my belly watch
everything spill

quiver

01 Sunday Dec 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Poetry

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Tags

Camp aesthetic, homoerotic, one well-hung cookie, poem, Poetry, pre-Stonewall, Saint Sebastian

 

a river of stars flooded
out of me even what’s

beautiful can be pain can
be violent joy where

the first arrow ended
marked the path you must

take to cross to me
the scene has been

set the bow tense
quiver in anticipation

][][

note:

Forever young and looking good tied naked to a tree, a saint popular with solders and athletes, Sebastian was a curly-haired Roman youth shot with arrows on the orders of emperor Diocletian, martyred by the establishment. In 1976, the British director Derek Jarman made a film, Sebastiane, which caused controversy in its treatment of Sebastian as a homosexual icon; though, as many critics have noted, this has been a subtext of his martyr story even before the Renaissance. In his novella Death in Venice, Thomas Mann writes about the Sebastian-Beauty as the “supreme emblem of Apollonian beauty, that is, the artistry of differentiated forms; beauty as measured by discipline, proportion, and luminous distinctions.” From these roots as well as the work of Susan Sontag and other pre-Stonewall theorists arose the aesthetic known as Camp; an acceptance of masculine effeminacy and a “heroism born of weakness.”

cheat the fates

01 Sunday Dec 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Poetry

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cheat the fates, lost love, poem, Poetry, shepherd

I.
boom shocka — true love
is not for everyone but
if we are to meet then
we shall like that —
boom

II.
Sleepless, I toss and turn
in my bed and listen to

the rain. I cannot see
a way out of this. Of all

the shepherds I am the one
who guides the bull to

heaven. All of the nurses, roots
witches and loving spinsters

I am the one who
will guide you to

the other side. But the green
rain came, washing

away all my paths, the heavy
temple bell reminding

me of all I must
leave behind

just to cheat the fates
and get you back.

III.
if we are to meet
again then let it
be if we are to
meet again then
let it be if we are
to meet again

then let it —

i sat up

01 Sunday Dec 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Poetry

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I sat up, poem, Poetry, vexed

I sat up all night
last night knowing

just where you were
who you were with

knowing that everyone
wanted to be your

first because you still
don’t know what you want

yesterday I would
have said do not let

me be your first let
me be the one who

stays but today
I am not so sure

the twitchy

29 Friday Nov 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Erotic, Poetry

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humans love misery, I love you, no demands, no promises, open mic poetry readings, poem, Poetry, praise the horrible, the twitchy, why we are alone

Praise this frustration. Praise a life without
an ounce of erotic hope. Praise the minus,
the loss, the single bed. Praise all the doubts

that make us sleep alone. Praise the daftness
that says the next world has to be better.
Anything than this, please. Praise the ones

who believe it; that our life-long quirks, our
foul habits, will somehow get us lovers.
At the end of each open mic. I’d ask

the audience, “how many of you are
in good, stable relationships?”
and you’d
get a smattering hands. “Yeah, well, we

hate you. This last poem isn’t for you.”
But when I asked who had just gotten dumped,
broken up, slept alone, separated,

divorced, torn asunder by howling wolves,
lost in splitsville, terminated, fucker,
almost always half of the crowd would cheer.

“Yeah, cheers, this is for you, it’s a haiku:
‘Tonight we’re lucky/ you’re coming back to
my place/ we’re all getting laid.’”
And like that

the show would be over, the crowd would up
and leave and you could see, even seconds
after the offer, that everybody

was justifying in their heads why it
must be a jape, a joke, performance art
anything other than what it really

was — offering you something new tonight.
Just one night, out you’re entire life,
where all you had to do was show interest,

some spark, that dull Prometheus damage,
and you’d lift the hex, the curse, whatever
it was that kept you from being happy,

from making that fairy tale you keep up
in your skull-bone come true; if misery
is the only shared language that we know

then praise the odd, the twitchy, the outcasts,
fools who ruin their own love, misfits all.
Praise everything that keeps us from this joy.

][][

“Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world. But I believe that, as a species, human beings define their reality through suffering and misery.” — Agent Smith, The Matrix (1999)

night’s orphans

28 Thursday Nov 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Poetry

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Tags

all that's forbidden, alone, poem, Poetry, sonnet, star gazing, Walt Whitman

— I am not naked under summer sky.
There’s so much forbidden to me; so much

you and I can’t do. Here’s our lullaby:
we’d sit on a grassy hill at night, touch

of heat in the air, and with night’s orphans,
crickets, we would sing to you. But twilight

is when you must go home and the heavens
always seem empty without you. Tonight

I’ll sit on our hill and star-gaze. Our future
feels far away, a void full of star-beams

and dark. You can’t join me. I can’t join you.
But if we could — we could — we would whisper

secrets under stars. My heart pounding, dreams
within dreams within all that we can’t do.

][][

“go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families” — Walt Whitman

autobiographia literaria

28 Thursday Nov 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Poetry

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Tags

autobiographia literaria, dog-star, doomed love, Night Witch, poem, Poetry

child of a russian night
witch and spanish poet

in a world of picture-
perfect porn I am curious

about the desires
of the unlovable

and the doomed;
those of us who

dream under the light
of the dog-star.

dark honeyed air

24 Sunday Nov 2013

Posted by babylon crashing in Poetry, sonnet

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Tags

dark honeyed air, drown in it, guitar, ocean's outrage, poem, Poetry, sonnet

 

… then we were nearing the end of the song.
The sea calmed; each note turned hushed and sublime

and then faded away … I am not strong,
but my strings are tight; full of tears each time

you play me. You have no soul, nothing lies
inside. I’ve seen it drip from your mouth, run

down your chin, melt out of your hollow eyes.
Each time you squeeze me tight these songs summon

mermaids who live in my dark honeyed air.
Each time I sing tales of the sea-gypsies

I find new words for the ocean’s outrage.
My waves are chaos. Sometimes they enter

all your harmonies … they make me vicious,
one day I’ll drown in lascivious rage.

][][

notes:

“Well she’d held a bass guitar and/ she was playing in a band.
And she stood just like Bill Wyman,/ now I am her biggest fan …”

—The Smithereens, Behind the Wall of Sleep.

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